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hey doctor a weight loss question

Hello how are you? i am doing good but i had a question. See i am over-weight and i want to lose weight but dont seem to be. Even when i am active it just does not seem to want to come off. I don't eat that much but eat when i am hungery and not a bunch of stuff at once but most of the time i will eat really late at night before bed i will have a main meal and have noticed i have been gaining weight. But recently i have been eating through the day and the women i am engaged to does not like to eat without me and so i do it for her so she will not feel bad. But i think the extra intake of food is making me gain weight too. i have cut back way back on my food intake before and lost a bunch of weight but only because day and night i was too busy to eat and i know people how could i be too busy to eat but with my job and the running i did and do everyday it was sleep or food and i would rather sleep then try to eat with my head in my plate lol. Also is there a way you could suggest that would be a safe way to lose weight in my case cuz i dont really know why for sure i am gaining weight. I mean should i not eat so late or what cuz even when i cut back on eating before and not my choice but still i did not seem to lose that much i guess though i did a bit but i dont want to resort to that again and i just want to get back in shape for my girl so she will be happier with me then she already is. And she is great and never says anything about me being overweight but still i want to be everything she wants and though i am now i want to be even better for her.


Answers:


Hi Mike,
Its great that you want to start taking steps towards being healthier. Wanting to get in shape for your fiancee is a great motivator, but it is a lot more important to want to get in shape to improve your health. I'm not an expert, but what I've found is that dieting is very difficult to stick to. Instead, what you want to focus on is making healthier choices and incorporating them into a new lifestyle. As you mentioned, eating late at night is not the best way to lose weight. Its not a bad idea to eat many small meals throughout the day, but you need to keep them small and be cognizant of how much you're eating. Its okay to eat with your fiancee, but then you need to cut back on what you eat later. Focus on eating healthily. Make it a priority to be sure you're getting enough fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean meats, etc, throughout the day. If you make healthy choices and moderate your portions, eventually you should lose weight. Don't think about it as a diet, think about it as a lifestyle. What I do when I have a meal is I always eat the healthiest things that I don't want to eat first and then go in order so I eat my favorite thing last instead of filling up on it. If you deprive yourself too much, though, it will be difficult to stick to. Its okay to eat some bad food, so long as you keep it under control. Plan ahead times when you want to treat yourself to whatever you're craving, just don't go overboard.
Of course, the other big proponent of weight loss is getting plenty of exercise. Again, its best to incorporate it into your lifestyle, which may be difficult at first, but will get easier the more consistantly you do it. Before you start, you should see your physician if you have any health concerns or if you haven't had a physical in awhile. You want to focus on cardiovascular training, but you may also want to incorporate some weight training as well because having more muscle mass helps you burn more calories even when you're not working out. Do not do too much at once or you'll find yourself sore and not wanting to continue. Start slow and gradually build up. You don't want to increase your exercise by more than 10% per week. Set long-term fitness goals and then set a series of short-term goals on how to acheive them. Swimming is a great activity for those with joint problems. Try different things, mix it up, see what you like, and stick to it. The more varied your exercise is, the more likely you'll stick to it, the more advantage it will have because you'll be working a variety of muscle groups, and the least likely you'll get injured. It may also help if you have a buddy you can workout with so you can motivate each other and be accountable to one another. Joining a team or trying a new sport can aslo being really exciting and a fun way to exercise.
It may take awhile for you to see results as you try to incorporate these changes into your lifestyle. Be patient, any change that is going to last is going to take some time. I urge you not to get too caught up on what the scale reads and how you look. Concentrate, instead, on how you feel and how you're working towards becoming healthier. Best of luck, and let us know if you have any more questions.Please see also my previous answers to weight loss questions:
http://askdoctorjoshua.com/category/weight-loss-obesity/